Thursday, 1 June 2017

Box of Birds

Well it isn't always this way but last night I slept all night long!  I do that more and more since stopping drinking but it is always so much fun waking up knowing that my eyes haven't opened since around 11 pm the night before.

Anxiety can wake me at 3 am but sometimes (just sometimes) I get the whole night long - and it is so amazing.  I never would have thought something so small can be so joyous.

It is summer everywhere else (here in NZ it is winter starting) and I can imagine everyone is out and about doing Spring things as it is a bit quiet out there.  Our chickens have stopped laying as the daylight doesn't seem to be enough for them and am seriously thinking about a morning light bulb for them, but knowing me it will mean angry chickens and a fire :)

Wishing everyone a wonderful start to spring and winter wherever you are x
M xxx

PS a shout out to Mrs S too, I still think of your BBC interview and wonder how you are doing.

PPS - Jackie  What a great comment on my post :

"I remember all those times that i thought to myself...

1. At least I didn't do X
2. At least I'm not as bad as Y
3. At least I didn't drink as much as Z....

The problem with the "at least's" is that they continuously re-set and downgrade..."

Good one Jackie  How do we forget our A, B, C's yet know our X,Y, Z's - it is like we have to go back to the beginning, Michelle xx


  1. SLEEP!!
    It's the best! I am so glad you are getting more now!
    It's not perfect for me, but it is better most of the time!
    I know nothing about chickens, but I DO love eggs!!

    1. It is the dangling carrot I reckon!
      The thing that keeps me going for sure :)
      Michelle xx

  2. Seriously, for the love of sleep! Isn't it amazing to wake feeling rested and awesome.

    Ive been lurking in the world, but am back and have just started writing at It is very early days, but it feels so nice to be posting and writing again. Glad to see you are doing so well! xx

    1. Great news & so glad you are back -

      I remember the "Sushi" evening you wrote about months ago and the videoing of this. I know it is a fine line between "privacy and honesty' - I am of the belief that if 5% of those that know about my blog (and it is really some close family members) get offended it is OK because honesty and honest accounts of what we go through may just help 1 other person out there (including ourselves).

      That makes it all worth it for me anyway :) How hard must it have been for Lady Gaga to come out with her mental illness - I am sure that has even saved some lives.

      So congratulations on your courage Mrs S xx
      Michelle xx

  3. Mrs. D and I started our journeys together many moons ago and any friend of hers is a friend of mine. I get the "I don't want to turn 50 like this" because that is the thought that actually spurred me on to sobriety. Let me tell you, the other side of 50 and sobriety has been freakin' amazing and so worth it. Sometimes I wish I'd done it earlier but I did it when I did it and that's good enough.

    I am still amazed by sleeping all night and it happens the majority of the time these days. The last few years of my drinking, I don't think I had one full night's sleep and many nights I didn't sleep at all, the anxiety and palpitations would wake me up around 1 and by 2 I was downstairs slogging a bottle of wine.

    My friend has started raising chickens and they keep eating their own eggs, what do you do about that?

    1. This is what keeps me going also (as well as sleeping!) Hearing how people keep going and love their life. Nobody hates their sober life do they? Now I have your blog added so I can keep up!

      Chickens... well they are beast unto their own that is for sure. Eating their own eggs is the one thing that needs to stop. Some never get into that habit like mine but when they do it's a giant pain. Suggestions include : putting in golf balls so they break the habit, obviously getting the eggs out straight away, blowing out the egg and filling it with horrible fillings, more protein in their diet.

      I love backyardchickens;
      I use this site all the time. Good luck to you friend

      Michelle x

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  5. Sleep is vital. I take magnesium before bed. It relaxes me and reduces any night time anxiety. It is a wonder mineral!

    1. Which one do you take Anne? Some absorb better than others and I have NutraLife Magnesium Complete but not sure if it does anything.
      Michelle xx


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